Relationships are hard. They can be wonderful going in (maybe it is sheer ignorance) but often it is hard coming out of them. Do you look back and think—I should have seen that coming.
Wouldn’t it be great if every relationship would start with full disclosure? I don’t mean that kind, lol! I mean if there was a way to lay some groundwork before it starts– maybe we could avoid some of those awkward moments later. Is this making sense?
When it comes to making progress in a relationship, it really comes down to knowing each other’s expectations.
Here are 4 questions you should ask before entering into a relationship — or at least within the first week.
Do you value me and the time we spend together?
Okay, as a first rule, if you feel you have somehow gotten into the “express lane” at Publix then we are off to a bad start. Adios amigo! You need to control the pace as opposed to having others control it. Be leery of someone moving too quickly.
There is no rush. Time is the only thing that will reveal true character.
You need to feel that you matter. That you are a priority. Sometimes others will treat us as we treat ourselves. So treat yourself well because you are worth that and so much more. Don’t you ever forget it!
Will his actions match his words?
You know the kind, sweet and charming and then BAM! You are staring at the face of a real-life Mutant. You never really know who you are with.
It’s more important to pay less attention to what people say and more to what people do. Time and truth go hand-in-hand. If a promise is made make sure a promise is kept. When all we have are words then life can get pretty empty.
Can I trust you?
Why have a Twitter account when this guy has the news on everyone? Can you really trust that you won’t be in tomorrow’s feed?
Sometimes you have to keep yourself private. Not everyone deserves to know you. How can you look for clues to see if trust is in this relationship’s DNA? Here are 3 things to look for:
- Integrity. Yup, that is a big clue. Integrity means doing the right thing at all times and in all circumstances. Not just when it feels good. And, how about when no one is watching? BIG difference.
- Consistency. Does the profile picture have any resemblance to what you now see? That would be a big mark to inconsistency. What you see should be what you get…always. Period.
- Confidentiality. Need we say more?
Will he be there for me?
Don’t you hate when you have a great party and then there is no one to help you clean up? Yes everyone loves to enjoy the party but no one likes the mess after the party. Everyone has an excuse why they can’t stick around.
Here is the truth – life is not easy. It has detours and dead ends – it can get messy. You need someone on this journey who will not bail when you hit a bump. The sad thing is we often get into the mess of life too early in the relationship to tell whether someone is in it for the long haul or just the first 5 minutes. We all need someone who is willing to go the distance with us.
Are you facing a bump in the road? An unwanted pregnancy can bring the worst or best out of people. You need answers. You need support. You need to know. We promise we won’t bail. You can count on it.